I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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