1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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