Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My vagina just recognized that song.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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