So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
