i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
