dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
