just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
