I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
