I'll bet she douches with gravy.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
