ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The power of my boobs compel you
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
