dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
