There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
