I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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