As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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