She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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