I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
