I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
