So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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