She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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