true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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