Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
