Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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