No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
