someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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