Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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