it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
