I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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