pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
