Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My breath smells like gin and sadness
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
