Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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