the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You made out with two different species that night
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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