This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize