My brain says no but my pants say off.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
