Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
