I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
there was a trapeze. enough said
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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