I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
