She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
