im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
