I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
