this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I am one with the molecules
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
