I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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