Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i out mim tonsoeep
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