haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Still dying that you shit outside
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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