I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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