my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
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I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
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I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
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If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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