So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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