So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
