im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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