There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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