So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
