I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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