Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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