he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
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I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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