remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
