I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
