You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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